partiots in the knight

shadows and streams
demons and teams
untied we stand
together we crawl
deep dark hallways lead to the caves
the ones where some get lost
and others are saved

lost days

I remember the lost days. When I felt lost but was really saved. We took the time to drink wine and ride horses. We were the ones that told ourselves that we existed for a bigger cause. We had nothing but time to grab the world by the balls and sweetly suck them so that we would welcome the cum that assured our valuable presence. I had the times of wonder and lust that forgave me of my sins, for my sinful behavior allowed for the serial unconscious action that was rewarded by the moment. That desirable point that allows you to have no self conscious of the past or future. I love being lost. 

I sat in a dirty bar alone. Allow myself to drink more. I wanted attention. I wanted sex. Somehow I felt that it was easier to achieve drunk. The floor was dirty. The music was loud. The Buzzcocks were playing. It mad me think of a paper I wrote for English class in college. I thought about attempting to call someone for company. Yet I felt like I wanted to only be around strangers. Then at least I could pretend to be whoever I wanted that night. 

Never wanting. Always conceiving of my next big plan. I am of the ones that take for granted what is possible and just attempt to fulfill the potential of right now. Give me lessons and I will give you history. Make certain to ascertain the dilemma as an empirical conflict before slitting your wrists. 

newyorker: Desert Island Photo Books: Peter Van Agtmael Katy Grannan, “Boulevard.”I had seen bits and pieces of Grannan’s work but my ignorance of these portraits was met with dismay and shock by the fountain of photographic knowledge that is Curran Hatleberg. He then showed me small jpegs on the internet. Amazed, I ordered the book. It’s one of the best books of portrait photography I’ve seen and my favorite since I first saw Avedon’s “In The American West.” The cast of characters is impeccable, and the pictures are free and spontaneous despite being posed and shot with the slow-moving 4x5. That cover shot! Oh man, what a cover. It makes me want to go out and get drunk, smash my hard drives in a fit of despair, and start the whole thing over from scratch the next morning. - For our first installment of Desert Island Photo Books, Magnum photographer Peter Van Agtmael selected Katy Grannan’s “Boulevard” (above). Click through for the rest of Van Agtmael’s selections, with explanations: http://nyr.kr/y4iIPp

newyorker:

Desert Island Photo Books: Peter Van Agtmael

Katy Grannan, “Boulevard.”

I had seen bits and pieces of Grannan’s work but my ignorance of these portraits was met with dismay and shock by the fountain of photographic knowledge that is Curran Hatleberg. He then showed me small jpegs on the internet. Amazed, I ordered the book. It’s one of the best books of portrait photography I’ve seen and my favorite since I first saw Avedon’s “In The American West.” The cast of characters is impeccable, and the pictures are free and spontaneous despite being posed and shot with the slow-moving 4x5. That cover shot! Oh man, what a cover. It makes me want to go out and get drunk, smash my hard drives in a fit of despair, and start the whole thing over from scratch the next morning.

- For our first installment of Desert Island Photo Books, Magnum photographer Peter Van Agtmael selected Katy Grannan’s “Boulevard” (above). Click through for the rest of Van Agtmael’s selections, with explanations: http://nyr.kr/y4iIPp

riverbedreveries asked: what are you doing, where are you? can we talk soon? i hope everything is good. love you and miss you!

In California. I’ll call oressage you soon.
Oxox